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Author Topic: Finally a new Windows, but it has its problems  (Read 724 times)
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Firestorm
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Posts: 212
Royal Aust Air Force
« on: February 18, 2009, 09:45:18 AM »

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but instead installed undesirable programs such as BaseBall 7.4, NBL 3.2 and SuperBowl 4.1. Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed
Desperate   Cry

============================================================================================================
Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try to enter the command C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files. DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program: Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the Operating System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and can not learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to enhance his system performance. I personally recommend Meat Pie 3.0 and Scotch Whiskey 4.5 combined with such applications as Boob Job 3.6D and that old standby...Lingerie 6.9 (which have both been credited with improved performance of his hardware).

Good Luck,

Tech Support  :Smiley

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Aegle
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Posts: 4
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2009, 01:10:13 AM »

Dear Tech Support

I have decided to give up on Windows and install Linux. There is a very nice Linux compatible programme called Divorce 1.01

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Firestorm
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Royal Aust Air Force
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2009, 07:08:04 AM »

ahh...yes Aegle..Divorce 1.01 is not without its flaws. When installed it can self install Greed 2.0 which can destroy any form of communication with other software, namely Husband 1.0.

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Firestorm
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Administrator
Posts: 212
Royal Aust Air Force
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2009, 07:45:21 AM »

NOTE Regarding Separation 1.01 & Divorce 1.01

Reconciliation 3.2 cannot be removed successfully from Separation 1.01 without catastrophic effects. This will result in Divorce 1.01 starting.

We are working intensely on removing Shouting 2.0 from Separation 1.01 by running the very latest AV (Anti Vocal) software. This should reduce the number of errors from Separation 1.01 and hopefully halt Divorce 1.01 starting completely.

Tech Support

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